Dear Mother Nature

I don't know why you think this is so funny, it's not. Yet you continue to play all these "little tricks" on me. And quite frankly I'm sick of it! First of all every time I look at my daughters beautiful skin I'm reminded that mine no longer looks like that. Could you ease up on the lines and wrinkles, not to mention the sun spots. (Why didn't you worn me about those all throughout my teenage years, as I was laying out, seeking that color from you? How Rude! You just let me lay there, rubbing baby oil on my skin. I'm much smarter now, my kids don't swim without sunblock, so there.)

And another thing, I have twin girls fast approaching adolescence. That in itself could send anyone over the deep end. But it's not enough for you, no, you thought it would be oh so hilarious to plan that at around the same time I should be fast approaching going out the other side. The thought of Puberty and Menopause in the same household at the same time. Good one! Now I'm all in favor of a good practical joke, but this is too much! How can I put a stop to both of those things? Get back to me on that ASAP would ya?!

I have a few other bones to pick with you as well. I, who have never worn glasses in my life, and have perfect vision, broke down and bought those little magnifying glasses for reading. Not Funny! I only wear them in my house, but this better not get any worse. And whats the point of making things saggy that use to be "perky"? I liked it much better the other way.

I'm here to try to convince you to change your ways. Undo those mean things you've done to me and all my friends. It's not too late to turn over a new leaf. Please. Forgiveness is yours for the asking.

Sincerely, Star*