Thursday, October 15, 2009

The Mommy Wars

I'm so sorry that it's been a while since I've posted anything new. I love Blogging, and it bothers me when I'm unable to do it regularly. The last two weeks I've been so busy with work: We've launched our new Fall Line. My District Manager came into town. We are having a big Anniversary Sale. We've had inventory counts we've had to do every week. So, needless to say, I've been working a lot. (It's a good thing I really love my job, and enjoy working!)

But, it also has it's down falls . . . Like it's Fall Break from school for my kids all this week, and I'm working. So, we couldn't go out of town, like a lot of families did over fall break. I also had to miss Zach's first Choir concert of the year, because I had to work.

I've been on both sides of the coin when it comes to Working Moms -vs- Stay At Home Moms! I worked until I had my first child, and 16 months after that, gave birth to my second child. But, when my boys were very little I worked part time just during income Tax season, Jan. - April 15th. And had my mom to watch my boys. Then we moved across the country, and we decided that since we were uprooting our two little boys, and moving them away from family, that we wouldn't also change their lives by my going to work and them having to stay with someone else. So, I became a full time, at home Mother. And I loved it.

Eventually I started to miss adult interaction. And started thinking that maybe when the boys both were in school all day, I would once again join the workforce. I am one who actually likes change, and would welcome the challenge. But, then as Zach was just about to start going to school all day, I found out I was expecting Twins! So, those plans flew right out the window.

I've basically been a Stay at Home Mom for the past 18 years! The last couple of years, I worked two days a week in the Church office while my kids were in school. But, then this year, that all changed! I got a part time job (or so I thought) working retail. And as you know, it soon became a full time job, managing the store! I now have one son in college (wow, that sounds strange) and one in High School, and my girls are now in 6th grade. So yes, my kids are old enough now to not have their mom with them at all times. I think they even like it at times! :)

But, it has been an adjustment for all of us. The house is messy, sometimes there aren't groceries (or the right ones anyway) in the house. Once in awhile I have to miss a school event, which I really don't like doing! Laundry seems to be the biggest challenge. With six people, that can be a full time job in itself! We still try to have dinner together as a family nearly every night! That is a priority for us, and always has been!

There are positives to me working as well: I feel challenged and accomplished. The money helps tremendously in this economy. I really do love my job, and enjoy the work. I'm able to use my creativity in both areas of my life, parenting and working!

I've never really understood women who look down on, or attack other women who are on opposite sides of this issue. Having been on both sides, I can see the positives and negatives of both sides, and believe me there are both! But, I feel that as women, we should stand together. We should encourage and help each other, not bash the other side. Even if you feel that every mother should stay home with her kids, that isn't always reality within every family. Some women have to work, due to finances. And some just want to. Maybe they know it makes them a better person, and therefore a better mother if they work outside the home.

And some women love to be able to stay home with their kids, and they shouldn't be looked down upon as not contributing to society. Or not being as smart as women who work. We, as women, as mothers, should stand together. Weather you work outside of the home, or stay at home, there are things we can learn from each other! We need to respect each other and the choices we make. Each one of us can be Super Mom! (at least to our own kids!)


C. JoyBell C. said...

I agree.

I don't like how women attack other women for making choices opposite of theirs. It is childish and plainly just an uneducated thing to do.

Each woman makes choices in her life based upon her own situation, her own life experiences, her own outlooks, and her own preferences! So why should any one woman attack the other woman?

But then there are touchy situations wherein the woman has been questionable from the beginning (like marrying for money and then complaining about having to stay at home, etc.), but then that's just a whole different story.

Love you, Starry!!!! :)

Paula said...

Seems I get the best of both world since I stay home but do daycare in my home. Work moms think I'm a stay at home mom and the stay at home moms think I'm a work mom..... seems to me it just doesn't matter to THEM as long as it works for our family! But it does get frustrating at times.