Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Shut The Front Door!

While we were visiting our good friends Paul & Jill we were talking Twins! Like us, they also are the parents of Twins. Jill was telling us when her babies were little & she had a Dr.'s apt for them a friend offered to keep her older son for the day while she took the Twins to see the Dr. And she said "No. I need him there. He holds the door for me & helps me more than you can imagine." And of course I could relate, having older boys as well. And thankfully so!

Then Paul who we've known since he was a College student said that he remembered going Christmas shopping with us when our kids were little & how Kyle & Zach (then about 7 & 9) would run up ahead of us to open the door & hold it so we could get the double stroller in. (I had forgotten all about those days!) And I told him it's funny that he should mention that, because just the day before, when we were sight seeing in down town Seattle, we walked up to a building, I believe it was the Space Needle & another man arrived at the door at the same time we did, he opened it & then jumped in front of us to hurry inside. I didn't think much of it, but I heard my 19 year old son Zach, behind me say to his Dad "Dad, did you see that guy, he didn't even hold the door open for Mom & the girls!" And John replied with something like "Well son, there are a lot of guys like that out there." And when I was telling this story to Paul he said (about Zach) "That is an attitude that will serve him well in life!"

So, I've been thinking about this. I never made the conscious decision that I was going to raise my boys (now 19 & 21) to be Gentlemen. It just came naturally I guess. I do remember very vividly my first day of High School, I walked up to the school as a new Freshman, my older brother Marty, was a Senior & when we got there, he opened the door & held it open for me to walk in. And I remember thinking right then & there: If my own Brother can hold a door for me, than ANY guy who wants to Date me better be willing to! And I stuck to that! A few years latter I was going on a date with some guy, it was our first date together, he came up to the house & we went out to his car. Where he preceded to get in the car. I stood there in my driveway, next to the car. He realized what he had done, got out of the car, came around & opened my door for me then went back & got in his side. I can make a joke about anything & it was funny, but I think I made my point. :)

Now, I am all about Girl Power! I'm a Mother of two Teenage girls who I sing to regularly, "Any thing Boys can do, Girls can do better!" (you know it's true!) :) And I, like every other girl out there, can certainly open my own car door. I just feel like it's a matter of respect. It doesn't mean I think I'm better than a man, or that I feel I'm beneath him. I can & do hold doors as well. And as I was thinking about turning this little story into a Blog Post the thought occurred to me: is Chivalry dead? Are Gentleman really a dying breed? If that is the case, then what a sad world we would live in!

I have been Married now for almost 24 years to a Man who still holds the door for me! He did from our very first blind date! (Or there probably wouldn't have been a second!) :) And I'm sure THAT has been the biggest driving force in my boy's learning to be the Gentlemen they are today. I've seen my son hold a door for groups of people who all shuffle by without so much as a Thank You. I always try to remember to say Thank You, when a door is held for me, even when I'm in a hurry. When Paul & Jill were taking us on a tour of their Church while we were visiting them, their two little boys (who are now about 7 & 9) would open & hold every door we walked in or out of!

So, Where do you stand on the subject? Next to your car door, waiting for it to be held open? :) Or opening it yourself & giving the man trying to open it for you what for?

Should we be raising our Sons to be Gentlemen?

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